The questions we ask ourselves, along with the questions we ask of others, have the ability to dramatically change our lives. Questions are incredibly powerful tools for effective communication.
Let’s explore this by thinking about our own self-talk. Self-talk is really just a series of questions and answers. Think back to a recent time when you didn’t get the result you wanted and ask yourself: “Why did you let that happen?”
How did that question make you feel? Most of us, when asked to justify, feel defensive, upset and maybe even hostile. We come up with excuses and try to shift the blame.
Asking a question like this is like asking ourselves to explain our identity. And we will do anything to defend our identity! We will justify the very behaviours that lets us down. How’s that for an obstacle to change?
So if you get caught in the ‘why’ cycle, try something like this: How can I do that differently next time, to get a different result?
Open up the possibilities.