Being told what to do can bring out the rebel in all of us. But, there is a technique that can assist – the “but you are free” technique.
Researchers asked people on the street to donate money to a cause and 10.0% contributed. However, when the researchers added the words “but you are free to accept or refuse” 47.5% made a donation.
I have previously shared how important it is to understand what is important to others. But that can be difficult if someone is unwilling to share.
In a fantastic book, Instant Influence: How to Get Anyone to Do Anything–Fast, Michael Pantalon recommends affirming people’s autonomy before you ask for more.
So try “I have a question I’d like to ask you, but obviously you don’t have to answer. Would that be ok?”