Communication is so much more than language. When we interpret what someone is saying, we process their message like this:
- Verbal 7%
- Tonality 38%
- Physiology 55%
Or to put it another way the song we hear (communication) is made up of the lyrics (words), tune (tonality) and rhythm (body language).
How often have you loved the beat of a song but you don’t care much for the lyrics? The song still gets to you!
The only value of communication is the response it gets. If you are not being understood or getting the outcome you want, then you need to change the way you communicate. And a large amount of that is through our body.
People who get on well tend to adopt the same posture and use similar gestures and mannerisms. We get on better with people we like or wish to be like and therefore we are able to communicate with them more effectively.
Notice your own body language when you’re communicating with others. Ask yourself some great questions:
- What I do when I am happy? Stressed? Defensive? Connected?
- How do I use my eyes? My arms? My voice?
- What body language assists in building rapport? What breaks rapport?
How many times has someone said something to you and you’ve interpreted their message as something entirely else, simply because of their body language?